Day 1 of the internship over and I survived! People were super nice but I won't be talking about my internship publicly but just know, all went well :)
Kuala Lumpur was jampacked today (as always) and all I could think about was "Thank God I have a driver." I cannot imagine driving 2 hours straight stuck in a traffic jam let alone let my mother drive me. It really is a true definition of a city hustle and bustle but I've never been to a Metropolitan City before so what do I know?
Nothing much happened today but I just felt the need (how many times have I used those 3 words?) to write. Today, I wanted to post a selfie on Instagram to commemorate the first day of my internship and I did. As I took the photo, posing at the perfect angle and even drawing up the blinds of the car to get a bit more light exposure, a thought came across.. "Do I look like this in real life?" I didn't photoshop my photo nor did I cover any blemishes. I just did the normal increase exposure, increase saturation and maybe increase contrast shebang but I always feel like I'm faking all of it. Whenever I meet people, I wonder if they think, "Whoah she looks so much better in photos!" Am I digging my own grave? I'm well aware that the angles I pose in are not angles I'm positioned at when I'm talking to someone. I remember meeting someone called James when I was younger (met through MSN) and he said I look "better than the pictures." Granted, he might have just said those words just to flatter me but I really took it to heart. And now as I get better at taking photos and filtering photos, I feel like the pictures are so much better and the real me is downgrading. I don't want to mislead people. However, I talked to a friend about it and I know it's all in my head. "You didn't photoshop your face, your features are all there. That's you." Maybe the lady in the photo is me. Maybe I'm not so bad after all. All these thoughts, they may or may not be true but how I feel about it is what matters. I need to continue building confidence in myself and start being "true to myself." Those 3 words are really strong and I am trying to live by it.
My whole life, I've been taught how to love other people but not much on how to love myself. I guess it was a given because we would naturally tend to our needs but I guess I was paying too much attention on loving people that I forgot to build a love for myself. Not to say I don't pamper myself or what not. I do the normal stuff but my foundation isn't strong enough to make me feel "true to myself." This has nothing to do with my upbringing by the way. It's more of a negative light that was shone on me by myself because of all this overthinking. I have been blessed with a great family and great friends. I've never truly been bullied (just the occasional mean comments by boys when I was younger but boys will be boys. I don't hold a grudge.) so I know that all these negative thoughts are created by me and I have no reason to put this upon myself.
That's why on a daily basis, I tell myself to be confident and to be true to myself. It's not a lot but it's a start.
SW.
Showing posts with label myself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label myself. Show all posts
Monday, 5 January 2015
Thursday, 1 January 2015
Beginning of 2015.
Happy New Year!
I thought today's instagram post would be appropriate to start off this blogpost.
"Happy New Year 2014 has personally been a different one for me. Started off w an 8 month break: Travelling w my closest friends to Bali, visiting Melbourne for the first time (thought I was gonna reject Unimelb at the time), getting to enjoy Sydney's nightlife, short trips to Singapore (of course) & most importantly, rebonding w my family especially my dad (since I moved back to Malaysia after 4 years). The memories I made w my dad this year, I will treasure forever along with the other memories I made of course.
Had achieved something I never thought was possible: Got to participate in the Singapore Affordable Art Fair, sold about 8 pieces of my work.
Well those are some of the wonderful things that have happened. But enough about me. Many things have happened to Malaysia this year: 3 unfortunate flights & massive floods in 3 states (number 3 not looking so good right now). I guess these situations have taught us to be grateful for who we have with us right now. That's the best thing we can take from 2014 to the rest of the years to come. Its funny because so many unfortunate things happen every year to other people (war, poverty, sex slavery) but we only really learn to feel and do something about it when things happen closer to home. I will never know what the families of the passengers in those 3 flights or families who have suffered from the floods truly feel but I take it as a sign to really cherish the ones you love and to let go of ones who don't love you. This Instagram post can go on forever so I will stop here!
Happy New Year to all! May 2015 be a joyful year !"
I wonder how many people have started a blog today. Blogspot must be receiving massive numbers of participants today. Hell! I thought I would start writing again last year and I did but I gave up after 6 months which isn't too bad compared to giving up after one blog post.
For now, this will be my summer diary because unfortunately, I left my real diary in Australia and for some reason, whenever I come back to Malaysia, I feel the need to write again. It's probably because I have more personal time to reflect on my life which I love by the way. Instead of living my life in this fast pace world, I get to stop and think about what I've done and what I should be doing instead of continuously keeping myself busy everyday. Do forgive me for any grammatical mistakes I might make now and in the future. My English has deteriorated ever since I moved from Malaysia because of the lack of writing and I'm trying to improve it slowly. On the same note, forgive me if I drift off to a new topic all of the sudden. Sometimes I tend to think of other things and I just feel the need to write it down but hey, who's reading this, right? I'm writing this for myself and not for others (tho I welcome any positive or constructive feedback).
I might write several posts in one day or none at all. It's really just a blog filled with my thoughts. I have no intention of gaining viewership (tho that would be nice) because I think this world is already filled with many social media outlets that make us feel the need to get many "likes" and I'm guilty of that so I'm trying to teach myself that that isn't important and I should post what I want to post, not what I think my viewers would like to see.
SW.
I thought today's instagram post would be appropriate to start off this blogpost.
"Happy New Year 2014 has personally been a different one for me. Started off w an 8 month break: Travelling w my closest friends to Bali, visiting Melbourne for the first time (thought I was gonna reject Unimelb at the time), getting to enjoy Sydney's nightlife, short trips to Singapore (of course) & most importantly, rebonding w my family especially my dad (since I moved back to Malaysia after 4 years). The memories I made w my dad this year, I will treasure forever along with the other memories I made of course.
Had achieved something I never thought was possible: Got to participate in the Singapore Affordable Art Fair, sold about 8 pieces of my work.
Well those are some of the wonderful things that have happened. But enough about me. Many things have happened to Malaysia this year: 3 unfortunate flights & massive floods in 3 states (number 3 not looking so good right now). I guess these situations have taught us to be grateful for who we have with us right now. That's the best thing we can take from 2014 to the rest of the years to come. Its funny because so many unfortunate things happen every year to other people (war, poverty, sex slavery) but we only really learn to feel and do something about it when things happen closer to home. I will never know what the families of the passengers in those 3 flights or families who have suffered from the floods truly feel but I take it as a sign to really cherish the ones you love and to let go of ones who don't love you. This Instagram post can go on forever so I will stop here!
Happy New Year to all! May 2015 be a joyful year !"
I wonder how many people have started a blog today. Blogspot must be receiving massive numbers of participants today. Hell! I thought I would start writing again last year and I did but I gave up after 6 months which isn't too bad compared to giving up after one blog post.
For now, this will be my summer diary because unfortunately, I left my real diary in Australia and for some reason, whenever I come back to Malaysia, I feel the need to write again. It's probably because I have more personal time to reflect on my life which I love by the way. Instead of living my life in this fast pace world, I get to stop and think about what I've done and what I should be doing instead of continuously keeping myself busy everyday. Do forgive me for any grammatical mistakes I might make now and in the future. My English has deteriorated ever since I moved from Malaysia because of the lack of writing and I'm trying to improve it slowly. On the same note, forgive me if I drift off to a new topic all of the sudden. Sometimes I tend to think of other things and I just feel the need to write it down but hey, who's reading this, right? I'm writing this for myself and not for others (tho I welcome any positive or constructive feedback).
I might write several posts in one day or none at all. It's really just a blog filled with my thoughts. I have no intention of gaining viewership (tho that would be nice) because I think this world is already filled with many social media outlets that make us feel the need to get many "likes" and I'm guilty of that so I'm trying to teach myself that that isn't important and I should post what I want to post, not what I think my viewers would like to see.
SW.
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